Falling
by cece1090
Summary: You were always running, falling and coming back home because home is wherever Justin is. Oneshot.  Rated T for incest.


Disclaimer: I own nothing of WoWP.

* * *

Age 5

Your name is yelled as you suddenly find yourself running even faster. The sprint is long but the addiction of adrenaline is overpowering. Your legs are taking you places that you have no idea where, but the thought of running back there just propels you further away. A small giggle slips between your lips knowing that you are being chased but don't pay attention to where you are going. And before you know it, your falling.

And that is the story of your whole life, falling.

You feel yourself hit the ground and the trees are swirling as if you were going down in slow motion. Your lips start to quiver but you try really hard not to cry, because it doesn't make it any better. Crying doesn't fix what happened and it doesn't change what you've done. You bring your bloodied knees to your chest are start to rock back and forth, now wishing that maybe you had just gone back. Running away never did you any ounce of good, all it gave was pain and loneliness.

Running away was something you were good at, your second nature.

You start to feel your eyes well up and you push yourself even harder than before not to cry. You start to wish that you were back with your family because you don't even really remember what it was to make you run away. Then suddenly you feel two small arms around you and sweet whisperings filling your ears. You feel yourself fall back into his arms as he holds you and makes you forget why you were even angry in the first place.

You were always falling back into his arms.

* * *

Age 10

Your stomping angrily to your room feeling oppressed by overbearing parents. You had always known that you were only second best and a failure to their parenting. You swear to yourself that if you hear "Why can't you just be more like Justin" one more time you're going to lose what's left of your mind. Your slam your door shut and fall onto the bed and look up at the ceiling. You wish that you could be small again, where the world wasn't so complicated.

But unfortunately for you, your life would never just be 'simple.'

You hear a light knocking on your bedroom door and you don't even have to open it to know who it is. And that feeling that you've been getting every time you see him is starting to come up again. It's spreading its way to your stomach and decide to ignore it and him. You listen as the knocking becomes more strident and hear now his exclamations coming through the door.

"Alex please let me in!"

"Come on, you can't be mad at me forever."

"I did say that I was sorry!"

You hear the knocking die down and his words linger in your mind. 'You can't be mad at me forever' and you know he's right. You let out a huge exhale in breath and slowly get off your bed. Your breath becomes more unsteady with each step you make towards the door. You put your hands on the knob and slowly turn it and you find your heart is now pounding in your chest as you see him standing right there in front of you. Your face blushes for a second but you're not sure why when he is suddenly hugging you. The fluttering of your heart is continuous with every touch he gives you.

And you know you've been written on, marked all over by the fingerprints stained on your body.

He is now looking at you sadness in his eyes as you finally breakdown and say he's forgiven and you're not mad anymore, because honestly, when could you ever find a time when you stayed angry. Staying angry with him seems like such an impossibility to you that you can't even fathom a reason that could make you that way.

You lead him to your bed and both of you talk and laugh for what seems like hours and you find yourself forgetting that you were even grounded in the first place. He starts to tell you stories that he creates with his dolls, but he swears are action figures, and you tease him for being girly. The time starts to fly and you wake up seeing that he's fallen asleep on your bed but you don't seem to care at all, because you always feel the safest when he's in your bed.

And you realize that's where he always ends up at, is in your bed.

* * *

Age 16

The pressure is on and you start to feel sick. The constant needing to be noticed and having attention is starting to become overwhelming. You fail at everything you do despite every attempt you make. Your grades are absolutely atrocious and you find that maybe you were always your parents' failure. You take a deep breath as you look at your math test and your heart sinks because suddenly everything you studied for has gone out the window. The nausea is overpowering and find yourself running for the bathroom.

Vomiting has been your friend for awhile now.

You sit on the bathroom floor in total and utter defeat while leaning against the stall. You know you should go back and try to finish your test but know it won't do you any good. The bell is now ringing and you somehow find it in yourself the pick yourself off the floor to go home. Except you can never really call it home because there you are a pathetic excuse for a daughter and Justin has become the family hero.

And despite everything you've been through with him, he's always been your hero.

You slowly make your way to where Justin is hanging out and he looks at you with concern written on his face. Of course you know, that it will quickly go away and he'll act as if nothing's wrong. And sure enough he rolls his eyes and goes back to his friends. You start to become impatient because all you want is to get back to your bed where you can crawl away and hide.

Hiding always seemed to make everything better.

He finally says his last goodbyes and starts to walk home ahead of you. Your heart feels slightly crushed because despite it all, you know you're in love with him and wish that he would give you the time of day. You slowly walk behind him and if you were a normal girl, the tears would be free flowing now. But you're not a normal girl and you suck it up and hold your head even higher.

Confidence was always the mask you held up.

Before you step two feet in the house, you're being yelled at for some reason god knows why. You just stand there and let them belittle you and roll your eyes. As they finally finish saying how disappointed they are in you, you make your way up the stairs. Before you even know it, someone is pulling your arm and shoving you inside your room. Your heart starts to break because this is the only time where you can finally be yourself.

Even now, being yourself is something you can't do.

And suddenly his warm lips are on yours smothering you but you don't even care because this is where you want to spend the rest of life. You kiss him passionately taking everything in while you can because this night will be short and in the morning he'll be gone.

Because he always leaves when you wake up.

He leads you to your bed still kissing you passionately as he slowly undresses you. You find yourself whole as he is with you because that is the only time when you don't have to pretend. At that moment you are just Alex and he is just Justin. He holds you till you finally fall asleep and you dream of wonderful things. In your dreams the world is just a different place and nothing is keeping you away from him, but the dreams end and reality sets in. And just like you knew, you turn over and find he's gone.

He was always gone. Coming and never staying.

* * *

Age 20

Bryce is a nice a guy and you decide to give him a shot. Being at college has opened up new ways to keep yourself busy, to keep yourself distracted. While Bryce is not what you truly want, he has a huge heart and loves you tremendously. Every time he kisses you your mind automatically thinks of Justin but you quickly do away the thought and put it aside. After all, Justin isn't there because Justin is too busy with his life to ever think of you.

He was always too busy with his life to still of you.

Your dream is a nightmare and you start to cry in your sleep. You feel strong arms around you holding you as you finally cry. Small kisses are felt along the back of your neck to your shoulder then finally your lips as that person hovers over you. You are in your happy moment wishing it could always be like this until your open your eyes. You open your eyes and see that it's not Justin kissing you and the tears well up again.

The first time you ever cried and it wasn't even Justin who got you through.

You're coming home for Christmas break and decide to drive yourself. You're so emotionally vulnerable that you don't want him seeing you like that. The drive is long and every time your phone goes off you just ignore it. You know without even checking it that it is Justin and just can't deal with him at the moment. You finally make it home and realize that he's already there and the feeling starts up again. You literally run into the house because now the need to see Justin is overwhelming. You see him in the living room and a smile starts on your face but quickly falls seeing the girl at his side.

You always lived with yourself knowing that you would never be enough.

The family happily sits and eats talking of this that and whatnot. You put up your façade to show that everything's okay to secretly hide that your heart is being ripped in two. The girl is beautiful and blonde and happens to be his high school sweetheart. The two hold hands and look lovingly into each other's eyes and you start to feel sick. You just can't handle seeing him with her but feel like such a hypocrite because you know you're one.

Justin then suddenly stands up saying that he has an announcement to make. You start to feel even sicker now fearing what will come out next. He simply looks down at Juliet and smiles warmly at her. you can't help but feel an anger surging though yourself knowing that the entire time that you've been here, he's completely ignored you and suddenly you feel cheapened.

"We've decided to get married!"

You feel as if someone's just punched you in the gut and can't find it in yourself to breath. You're suffocating and yet you always had been feeling that. Everyone around you stands up and applauds at your brother's good news and you cringe at the thought brother because that is all he will ever be. You feel as if fate is mocking and laughing at you and that your pain brought it more satisfaction. You find yourself getting up amidst the cheering and clapping, to head for the bathroom.

Brother, that was all and will ever be to you.

You vomit like you've never vomited before but clamp down on the tears about to fall. You swear that you'll never cry over him again. The emotions cursing through your veins is causing you to have a migraine and take some pills and crash on your bed.

Later that night you find yourself arguing with Justin. He's angry with you for being so selfish. But you know that he's secretly angry with himself by the way he slides down against your door and breaks down. The tears are free flowing against his face as he's saying "life is just so unfair." You finally can't take it anymore and run to where he is. It is now your turn to hold him and whisper the lies that both of you want to hear even though they're lies.

Because the lie is so much sweeter than the bitter truth.

* * *

Age 24

You find yourself walking down the stairs in your semi new home. The marriage aspect of your life just isn't working but you just don't want to admit defeat. You look at the microwave clock and read 3:21 and collapse into a chair nearby. It is so late and you have no idea where your husband really is, whether he is really on a business trip or somewhere else, at this point it doesn't even matter anymore.

You just assumed that the whole Bryce and you thing would just work out considering that he seemed to love you and that you could eventually find it in yourself to love him back. Funny how things never go the way you want them too. You hold your head in your hands wondering how everything got this way and wishing it were different. Suddenly you hear a sound from the front door and you cautiously make your way over to it. You open the door and find a very disheveled Justin in front of you.

You don't even have to ask why he's here, you just know. He's here because he can't keep up with the lie any longer and he can't handle going through life like this. He's here because you know despite everything he's done to you he can't go on living without you and before you know it he's kissing you hard and everything in the world seems to come to a stop, as if time itself was freezing. Because as of right now, this was the only thing existing.

Neither of you speak, because talking only makes it worse. And once again, he finds his way to your bed like he's always done before. By now both of you are holding on to each other because you both know that the moment is fleeting and it can't last. So you hold onto the moment for as long as possible wishing it could be another way.

Finally you wake up in the morning, turn and see he's gone and you feel your heart shatter into a million pieces. You slowly trudge your way down the stairs and find that your husband is waiting there. The day starts again and you find yourself making breakfast and pouring his coffee. You turn and see the expression on his face and you know that he wasn't on a business trip but you say nothing because he also knows you weren't sleeping alone in your bed either.

But that's how you feel, alone and shattered.

But you also know that last night won't be last one either. Because despite everything you've both done to each other, he always comes back, because whether both of you like it or not, you can't keep living without the other.

Yeah, you were always running, falling and coming back home, because home is wherever Justin is.

* * *

So tell me what you think!


End file.
